I am a 33-year-old, newly Catholic, single mother of three. This blog is a collection of thoughts and things I learn in my journey of faith. All comments are welcome!
I can officially say that I've ben Catholic one year, as of yesterday! Woot woot!
It's been quite a year, too! My children were baptized last summer. Clay is preparing for First Reconciliatin and First Holy Communion (May 31) and we are striving to make Catholic living a part of our everyday lives.
I wish I could impart some words of wisdom but my mind is full of useless information I need for a test tomorrow and I just can't seem to focus!
The meeting with the expectant mother went great and she has chosen to place her twin boys with my sister and her husband! Our family is so excited! The cost of the adoption is just about what they have saved up and some family members have promised to provide any amount they may be short! God has truly made a way for this all to happen. We all feel such a peace about everything!
In less than two months, I'll have two brand new nephews! The first one born will be called Jaden, which means "God has heard". The second will be called Joseph, which means "may God add/increase". Both names are perfectly fitting!
I want to give a very sincere THANK YOU to everyone for their prayers and for those who donated even the smallest of amounts! It is because of this that God has heard our prayers and brought this dream into a reality!
My sister, April, got a call from the case working handling their adoption yesterday. There is a an expectant mother due in July who is looking to place her babies in a loving home. April and her husband are going to meet her on Saturday! That's right, BABIES... She's having TWIN boys!
There IS something significant about the concept of adopting twins:
One morning a couple of years ago, after April and her husband found out that it was indeed impossible to conceive, she was praying about adoption... a serious long talk with God in the morning. She went out to the kitchen to make some breakfast, pulled out the eggs and cracked one into the pan. Out came twin yolks. Interesting but nothing to write home about until the SECOND egg cracked into the pan was ALSO was a twin yolk. Since that time, my family has thought of these TWO twin eggs as a sign that God is in control... and that, one day, their dream to adopt would be realized (though we didn't exactly expect TWINS!) We have always linked those eggs to my sister's morning prayer about adoption. There have been a couple of occasions when I have also cracked open twin eggs, thinking instantly of my sister and her adoption prayer.
So, when this expectant mother came up with twins, we all thought of this twin egg occurrence... Could this be it? Is this God's way of giving us peace about this particular possibility?
Please keep my family in your prayers. Please pray that everything will go as God wills it. Pray that these babies are the answer to prayer we've been waiting for and that my sister and her husband can finally be the parents they've always wanted to be!
I learned today that a dear old friend of mine passed away...
I met Josh sometime around 1994. He was one of those "do-anything-for-you" kinds of friends and he came through for me on more than one occasion.
In his own words (from 2000): "...please know that I'm always here for you in any way I can be.... if you need some money, or a place to stay, or child care, or if you need someone to talk to… lemme know what I can do… Your one of the best friends I've ever had, and I want you to know that you can count on me."
And in November 2006: "You know Amber... I think the world of you. And even though I might have not ever expressed it, I have a kind of brotherly protectivness in my heart over you. And I must say... Damion is a good and very pleasant man, and I truely enjoyed meeting him. I hope to get to know him more in the future... wanna see Seattle sometime? ;)"
I never did make it to Seattle.
Josh was adventurous... a risk-taker. The biggest risk-taker I've yet to meet, in fact. He loved life, he loved his family... His sense of humor was one of a kind as well. His stories and the way he'd tell them always had me laughing. Sometimes, even the most serious of events would take a silly twist.
I remember cruising in his car, the base thumpin' so loudly, it was literally changing our heart beats. I remember when he saw me off at the airport when I moved to Alaska and shed a tear as I flew away. I remember he sent my old 486 computer to me because I couldn't afford to get it up to Alaska myself… We had long talks of childhood memories, wacky neighbors, dare-devil tricks, drunken nights and love gone wrong... I remember when he told he was going to learn to do underwater construction. He was so excited and it didn't surprise me at all. It sounded just like something he would do!
In November, Josh got engaged to Reasa. I'd never known him to be so in love and so happy. And I was so happy for him… happy that he'd found someone deserving of him.
Josh, you were a true friend and I will always miss you.
"Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him. May he rest in peace. May peace be granted to Josh's family and Reasa as well. Amen."
As many may know my sister and her husband have completed a home study and are trying to raise money to adopt. For the last couple of months my family, especially my sister, has been working away at making all kinds of hand-crafted items to sell at an open house to raise money for the adoption. We held the event at my parents' house on Saturday, December 8, and it was a huge success! We managed to raise $4535.45, bringing them that much closer to their goal!
Praise God for his blessing on this event! People were so generous and it was quite an emotional time for our family. I know that some people stretched themselves in their giving and this was more than we expected.
In addition to this amount, another blessing happened Thanksgiving weekend. Their social worker in their adoption case, decided to drop a few bucks into a slot machine (Nevadans!) with the intention (she prayed about it) that anything she won, she would give to April and Tim. Well, she won $450!!! We couldn't believe it! She gave them every penny of it!
Tim also got a higher paying job with a company he previously worked for. THEY approached him about the job!
God is truly moving things and making them happen. I know that all the prayers are being answered and God has a huge plan in their lives and the lives of the child (or children) destined to be theirs.
April has decided to also start a blog. Once she puts her first post up, I'll share the link with you all! Thank you to all those who are praying for them! They are thankful and appreciative beyond words!
I've started a mailing list for my website. If you'd like to be added, just fill out the form on the contact page and request it.
The newsletters will be varied and will not come at regular intervals at this time. They'll contain apologetic stuff, words of encouragement, updates, etc. and sometimes, they will be used to announce book contests, new rosaries for sale or specials.
I apologize that my writing has been nearly non-existent lately but the efforts we're making to help my sister raise money for her adoption costs, plus school, work, kids and Church, are all taking up a considerable amount of my energy. Even when I have the time to write, I simply don't have the brain power to do so!
God bless anyone who is keeping me and my family in their prayers! And, a thank you to anyone who has already purchased a rosary!
This weekend, Damion and I will be going to Engaged Encounter. There is no formal engagement in place but it came at the recommendation of my priest and I thought it would be a good idea since we're heading in that direction. We're both very much looking forward to it! (Not to mention, a weekend without the kids will be a nice break!)
Please pray that God will show us any areas that we need to work out and that his grace will be upon us to communicate effectively and make the most of the weekend.
Upon my pending reception into the Catholic Church, I was also undergoing the annulment process through the Tribunal for three past marriages. Thankfully, it didn't take long and all three marriages were considered null. End of story. I'm free to marry.
So, this weekend, while at my parents' house, I received a letter from the tribunal. Strange that this would show up at my parents' house because I didn't use their address when I went through the process. So, curiosity forces me to open the letter immediately.
It's a letter stating that the Tribunal in the Diocese of Orlando is seeking permission to being an annulment procedure at the request of my first spouse! So, this means that my first spouse is either becoming Catholic or seeking the blessing of his fourth and current marriage. I have to say that either scenario comes as a complete surprise because he wasn't religious by any stretch of the imagination, and I can't see him submitting to any authority... This guy was a real piece of work: a liar, a con, a cheater... and that's being nice!
I can only hope that this is an indication that he has changed his ways and is seeking God and the truth of the Catholic faith. I always hoped for vindication against the way he treated me, but this is a much more forgiving and merciful outcome.
What good news it will be for he and his wife to know that this case has already been determined as invalid by the Church and they can quickly move forward!
*EDIT* It turns out that they want to have their marriage blessed because she wants to be able to receive communion. It appears that he has developed some sort of Protestant faith. I'm guessing Baptist. Anyway, I call the diocese and gave them the information. Hopefully, that will be the last I hear of the whole thing!
One of the biggest misconceptions many of my Protestant brothers and sisters have is the false idea that Catholics don't "have Jesus". Listening to Francis Beckwith on Catholic Answers the other day, he hit this idea on the head! In my conversion to Catholicism, I did not have to give up Jesus. In fact, I have a greater understanding of Him now than I did in all my years prior. Some, I'm sure, is due to all the studying I did. One cannot study about Christianity without growing in understanding about Jesus. But, as many of us converts discover, we not only learn more about Jesus but we learn more about the Church he established, the Scriptures and how God uses ordinary things to bring extraordinary grace into our lives.
Every good thing I believed as a Protestant came with me into my Catholic faith, including the most central message of the gospel. I didn't give up my relationship with Christ; it was strengthened. I didn't have to deny who Christ is as the Son of God; I grew closer to Him. In the process, I felt (and still do) a beautiful connection to the Church of history, to the saints in heaven, and to the body of Christ. I feel like I'm a part of something bigger and more beautiful than I ever imagined as a Protestant.
Conversion was a painful process. Not only did I bring into question the theology I'd held as truth my whole life, but I slowing began to realize that the theology on the other side of the fence made more logical sense... that it put the supernatural back into play and that Christianity was NOT just as simple as "Jesus and me". These ideas rocked me to the core and I honestly began to question Christianity entirely. I begged God to show me truth because I had suddenly realize how relativistic Christianity was... all these Christian churches teaching opposing truths and only ONE truth to believe. I couldn't accept the idea that Christ would leave us with such opposing truths to decide for ourselves what to believe while my own church implies, "we know the truth better than the 'other guy'", "agreeing on the essentials" while "disagreeing on the non-essentials"... all using the Bible as their sole infallible rule of faith, yet coming to completely different interpretations as to what we, as Christians, are supposed to believe.
I spent many nights anguishing over truth... God was speaking to me and I was arguing. Why in the world would He want me to be Catholic? Would that mean I'd have to give up Jesus for some sort of legalistic religion? "Religion" was always a bad word growing up... it was a bunch of "man-made" rules and regulations. In short, I found I did not have to give up Jesus at all... and the rules? Jesus, by His authority, established a Church with the authority to bind and lose. It was right there in black and white in the pages of my own Bible. I only had to find the church that has that same authority today. An accurate look at history revealed that the Catholic Church was and is the longest-standing Christian church in history. It was founded by Christ himself! That's not man-made!
Jesus was waiting for me in the Catholic Church, arms open. I remember my anti-Catholic days when I criticized Catholics for keeping Christ on the cross because "he's alive". True that He is, but without His death, we would not be alive in Christ and Paul says to "preach Christ crucified". So, there He was, frozen in time, a reminder of what my sin did to Him. And He was there with open arms to greet me into the same Church he established 2000 years ago when He rose from the dead!
It was a long and difficult journey that still comes with many challenges but each moment with Him at Mass brings me that much closer to Him. I followed Him there in obedience when He was all I had left to cling to in my despair over Christian disunity. I love Him... and though many have tried to argue with that, the fact remains that, even as a Catholic, I still have Jesus... without Him, I'd be lost.
I've been staring at this screen trying to figure out what to write... I can't think of anything worthwhile and I think I'd just end up complaining! BUT, I am considering another book contest. More details on that later.
Maybe I could pose a question or two.
How does one seek out a spiritual director? What exactly is the role of a spiritual director?
And for Bill... Where have you been? Email me or something!
What a week it's been... We had a memorial service for my aunt last Friday. It was beautiful to hear what those closest to her had to say... and sad to think I will never see her on this earth again. But she knows we love her and miss her and there is comfort in that. We had a lot of family in town and it was nice to see them. Hopefully, the next time will be under happier circumstances...
Also, last week I decided to move my daughter over to the public all-day Kindergarten program because she and the boys were approved for a variance. Our move one mile from our other apartment put them in another school about four blocks from the one they'd already been attending. Thinking it best that they have the stability of the same school and friends, I sought the variance. In addition, a variance would mean I could actually have ALL three kids in the same school. The new school they were zoned for didn't have all-day Kindergarten and that meant another year of driving all over town and paying more than $200 extra per month! So, I pulled my daughter from her former school not knowing that Kindergarten starts one week later than everyone else. Then I had to wonder what in the world I was going to do with her for an entire week!
On Saturday night, my daughter came down with a fever that spiked as high as 103.8 in the middle of the night on Sunday. Monday morning, I took the boys to their first day of school for the year and briefly met their new teachers. Just as I was leaving, I ran into a parent who I am acquainted with and she mentioned to me that strep throat has been going around. What timing! My daughter had the symptoms so I called the doctor and got right in. Sure enough, she was diagnosed with strep throat. Well, that's two days of the week I didn't have to worry about childcare and how I was going to make it to work. AND it gave me time to come up with another plan. I managed to find a wonderful lady who does licensed in-home childcare. She was willing to take my daughter from Wednesday through Thursday this week! An answer to prayer...
The fever lasted longer than expected and last night was the first night she made it through without her fever spiking up. Thank goodness...
I'm out three days of pay, which is a little worrisome but I still have my job so I'm not complaining! I am just very much looking forward to this week being over!
So, my blog took a backseat for a few days... and it may have to on occasion in the future months as well. I signed up for another class this semester. It's only one so it won't be too much of a deal but it might keep me busier than usual. I took all last year off from school so that I could attend RCIA and focus on learning all I could about the Catholic faith. I knew I'd need all the time I could get and I couldn't see how I would manage it with a school schedule. But, now it's time to get back into the swing of things!
People to pray for: Damion and kids my parents April and Tim KC and husband Diane and family Cindy/Jill Dragan and mother Johan and family
My aunt passed away this afternoon. On June 23, 2007, she was taken to ICU after suffering a double stroke. Since then, she made more improvements than the doctors ever thought she would. Over time, she was able to respond to us through hand squeezes, head nods and head shakes. She gave kisses, smiled, sat up for long periods of time, stuck her tongue out and even flipped us off on command a time or two. In one rare moment, she signed "I love you" to my cousin after several days of very little response. I'm sure my cousin will cherish that moment forever. My aunt was a fighter... but she could fight no longer.
My aunt was only 49 years old. She was a fan of NASCAR racing and the Rolling Stones. Among some of her heroes were her own children. She was passionate about her job and loved to help others and make people laugh. She will be remembered fondly by friends and family.
Please pray for the repose of her soul and for the comfort of my uncle and cousins.
Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord. And let perpetual light shine upon her. May her soul, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.
I've been taking a bit of a break from blogging and being online in general. Sometimes, the anti-Catholic venom and all the horribly skewed misconceptions really begin to bother me, so I have to take a step back and reflect on all the good and beautiful things about being Catholic... and all that God has done in my life in the last year or so.
I still fall short of making God a priority in my life so I'm making some small adjustments to change that. If I try to uproot everything and make a drastic change, I'll get overwhelmed and slip right back into old patterns. I've realized this past year that these things take time and patience and it's important to make changes with baby steps if I want the changes to stick.
I just started a six week study on being a disciple of Christ and I realize that before I can be "sent", I must know him better. I must be more firmly rooted beyond my intellectual understanding. This is where those small adjustments come in as I try to focus more on God's role in my life personally and as I strive to make Him the priority above all else.
********** Prayers: Damion and kids My family Joby - comfort and financial struggles (Matt 6:25-33) Johan - as he crosses the Tiber Christine Dragan and his mother All others who have no one to pray for them
Clay was baptized last Saturday. It was beautiful. It was an emotional moment for me as my first child was brought into the Christian faith, knowing at that moment that the Holy Spirit was descending upon him, washing him clean of all original sin. He was buried with Christ and rising to new life... the heavenly witnesses rejoicing!
I love the Sacrament of Baptism... and I love that it's more than a mere symbol. The misconception is that Catholics think the water is "magical". In reality, we know the water is a symbol of the grace of the Holy Spirit and the means by which the Holy Spirit pours out His grace. It isn't the water itself, but the act of baptism, by which the Holy Spirit causes one to be born again (John 3).
CCC 694 Water. The symbolism of water signifies the Holy Spirit's action in Baptism, since after the invocation of the Holy Spirit it becomes the efficacious sacramental sign of new birth: just as the gestation of our first birth took place in water, so the water of Baptism truly signifies that our birth into the divine life is given to us in the Holy Spirit. As "by one Spirit we were all baptized," so we are also "made to drink of one Spirit." Thus the Spirit is also personally the living water welling up from Christ crucified as its source and welling up in us to eternal life.
All three of my children are now united to the body of Christ through baptism.
Thank you, Holy Spirit, for pouring your grace upon my children.
It was just a bit over a year ago when I began my journey into Catholicism. I cannot begin to express the amount of growth I've experienced in that short amount of time. God broke me, brought me into himself and showed me that my pride had caused me to be blind to the reality that a truth existed that was fuller than what I had blindly accepted for so long. What I experienced a year ago was a very painful and lonely experience, one I wish I could have avoided at times but for which I am also very thankful. Without it, I may never have come to know the joy of being Catholic... of knowing, without a shadow of a doubt, that I'm right where God wants me.
Though it's often difficult being Catholic where the rest of my family is not, I have to say I feel very blessed that God chose to open my eyes to the truths of Catholicism. It has strengthened me in so many ways and it has brought my relationship with Jesus to a deeper level. I'm still far from where I want to be in that relationship but I know that each day is a day I grow closer to Christ and His Church.
A year ago, I sat in a row of chairs with my family at church. Now I sit in a pew in another church, obedient to God's call to bring me into the Catholic faith, yet separated from my family... the picture of disunity that brought me to the state of brokenness to begin with. One day, I want to sit in a pew with my family in church, fully united as the body of Christ in ONE faith... the way God intended.
According to my great aunt Sue, my mom's family comes from a long line of Catholics. I hope, one day, that our Catholic roots will be restored... may God use me for this purpose if He so wills it.
Thank you, Lord, for bringing me into the one, holy, catholic and apostolic church. I was lost, but now I'm found... I was blind, but now I see. It is only by Your grace that I am where I am. Please pass this grace on to my family and allow them to experience the fullness of faith you desire for them as well. Amen.
Saturday's move went smoothly and we are now living amidst an endless mess of boxes to be unpacked. It's quite an overwhelming task and, once again, this move proved just how big of a pack rat I am. The move took just about six hours and several trips to my new third floor apartment. But before any of that, I had to sign the papers.
When I arrived to sign the papers, I was informed that they were giving me another unit. This news was quite upsetting considering I had verified I'd be moving into that unit before I spent hours on the phone last week, working to have all my utilities switched over at just the right time. I was not too happy about this but what choice did I have? SO, because I refuse to sign papers before I actually SEE the unit, they hand me a key and send me on my way to take a look. I locate the building and climb the stairs to the third floor and when I arrive, I find there is furniture on the balcony... Free furniture? So, I give a little knock because I'm a bit nervous at this point... no response. Put the key in the door, give it a little turn and open it to find a coat hanging on the wall and more furniture! Close the door! Lock the door! Run down the stairs!
I returned to the office and told the girl, "Well, that unit is occupied! What is wrong with the unit I was supposed to move into?" She said, "Well, I don't know but I can't find they key anyway." (I had seen the key sitting on the desk when I came into the office.) I said, "I saw the key sitting right here when first came in." She located the key and freed me to check out the apartment. Everything in the apartment was fine except for some carpet damage that would have to be taken care of but which could be handled after I moved in. SO, I signed the papers for the original apartment and proceeded to move in.
Sunday, the day of the baptism, Clay woke up vomiting... I got all three kids ready anyway and after a lot of rushing around through my maze of boxes and newspaper, Damion, the kids, and I made our way to the church (barf-bags in hand). Clay decided he wasn't up for being baptized the way he was feeling and I definitely couldn't blame him, so I talked to Father Bob about rescheduling when he returned from Lourdes. No problem. Clay missed the whole baptism while he took a snooze in the pew!
But, despite the rough start, I was very pleased because my parents showed up! I'm not sure what got them there but I didn't care. It was wonderful that they came to share this day with the kids and that's all that mattered. My brother-in-law, a former Catholic, also attended. This is just as big as my parents showing up! In addition, Damion's dad came too! We also had a few from my work, some from my RCIA class and some other old friends. I'm truly blessed to know so many wonderful people and to have them share the special event with us. Thank you, also, to all those who were there in prayer!
Christian and Trinity are now baptized! Despite the oil in their hair, I couldn't bring myself to have them shower last night. I love the smell of the chrism oil and wanted it to linger on them today in remembrance.
After the baptism, I decided it was best to get Clay back home and in bed so we weren't able to celebrate properly. Perhaps, after Clay's baptism, we'll celebrate all three!
Until then, I'll be wading through boxes and newspaper...
What a roller coaster ride our family is on! Sunday, my aunt was taking a turn for the worst... But by the following day, her kidneys showed no signs of failure and her heartbeat had returned to normal. The doctors decided to have her on the respirator only part time because when she's overly exhausted, she has a more difficult time breathing on her own. She's gone up to six hours without it. When she is on it, the respirator gives her only 4 breaths per minute and the rest is all her doing.
On Wednesday, a physical therapist went in to assess her. After being helped to a position in which she was sitting on the side of the bed, my aunt was able to sit on her own without falling over. At one point, she started to fall back a little and the physical therapist told her to move her shoulders forward and my aunt did so and brought herself back into an upright position. She did everything the therapist asked her to do, moving her left leg, right leg, touching her chin, etc.
My aunt's friends have quite the sense of humor. At one point, my aunt was asked a question and they said, "If the answer to this question is 'yes', flip me off!" And so, my aunt flipped her off. She definitely hasn't lost her sense of humor!
My uncle was trying to get my aunt to open her eyes the other day and she brought her hand up to her brow as if trying to push her eyelids open.
SO, my uncle requested a second opinion from the head of neurology at the hospital. The doctor initially came in with this attitude and said, "Look, we've already told you what to expect... Haven't the doctors already explained everything to you already?" My uncle explained that my aunt was doing things that the doctors said she would NEVER do. The doctor's response was, "Yes, well, family members often SEE things that aren't really happening because they want to believe their loved one is going to get better." My uncle said, "Yes, but it's NOT just family. It's friends, nurses, and even the physical therapist!"
So, the doctor decided to actually take a look at MY AUNT, instead of a picture of her brain. My uncle said the doctor was very surprised to see that my aunt's personality and ability to understand remained in tact... her ability to communicate with nods and squeezes was also surprising to him, not to mention the amount of movement upon request she is able to carry out. Then he put a light in her eyes and expressed that he was seeing what he did not expect to see. He then ordered another MRI. My uncle wants her transferred to a rehab facility but the insurance, at this point, has turned it down because her diagnosis is "brain dead". People with no brain function don't need therapy. Hopefully, the new MRI and the evidence that she is not completely brain dead, will allow the doctors to change the diagnosis so that she can get the rehab she needs to improve even more.
My uncle told me yesterday that each success, while it brings him joy, also makes him realize how much more difficult it would be to lose her after all this... or to decide to "let her go". That phrase was a bit scary to me... I hope he never takes away any normal means of caring for her and I hope he never consideres euthanasia.
A HUGE thank you to all of you who have prayed and who continue to pray! Your prayers are being heard!
**********
On a completely different note, I sent a Catholic Answers tract on infant baptism to my parents and urged them to attend my kids' baptism. I pray their hearts are open... and I pray they will set aside their opinions for the sake of the kids.
We're all getting excited about the baptism but have a HUGE day of moving ahead of us tomorrow. Hopefully, that will go as smoothly as possible...
Eventually, I'd like to get back to some normal blogging!
Wednesday, I was able to bless my aunt with Holy Water from Lourdes... I want to thank those who provided this water for me, directly and indirectly. It meant a lot to me to be able to do this. It was difficult to find an appropriate moment to do so with all the people that are in and out of the room. I hope to go over today. May God grant me another such moment.
Yesterday, they gave my aunt a tracheotomy. The tubes down her throat were causing a lot of gag reflex and making her very uncomfortable and the tape used to keep the tubes in her mouth was causing severe chapping (or an allergic reaction). I'm sure she's relieved to have those tubes out of her mouth. She was able to smile yesterday and she opened her eyes half way for 3-4 minutes. This is a tremendous step... one which the doctors told us not to expect.
My aunt is improving little by little every day. The last two days, she's been working hard to open her eyes. She is able to open them about 1/8 of an inch. She is easily worn out with us all talking with her, asking her questions, etc. She responds with nods and shakes of the head, hand squeezing and frowns. Sometimes it seems she is trying to smile. Sometimes, she cries.
It's difficult to see her lying there in such a state... knowing she can hear and understand but has such a limited ability to communicate... trapped in a broken body.
Please continue saying prayers for our family. We are really feeling them and they have given a lot of peace and strength we may not otherwise have.
On another note, the baptism of my children has finally been scheduled. It is set for June 24, 2007 at 1:00 pm. I'd like to have a BBQ or something afterwards but I'm not sure I can swing the cost... I have to figure something out soon, however, because it's just 11 days away! The kids and I are really excited about it... Please pray that my parents will be open to come. They will truly be missing out if they choose not to attend.
Things are looking up with my aunt. Yesterday, when my sister and I were visiting with her, the nurse came in to get the excess water out of her mouth. When the nurse put that sucker up to her, my aunt tried to swat it away and lifted her head off the pillow. She was moving quite a bit more than the day before... head, arms, legs, feet and even fingers!
Then, last night my cousin was holding her hand. She told her mom she was going to leave for a few and that she'd be back and my aunt squeezed and wouldn't let go! A bit later, my cousin was holding her hand and she said, "Mom, squeeze my hand." And my aunt squeezed her hand! Then my cousin said, "Move your feet." My aunt moved her feet!
So, she CAN hear and understand us and she can move. These are all VERY good signs. Even the nurse was optimistic and excited by these huge improvements.
Please continue in your prayers. The Lord is listening. I promised Him, if my aunt ever came out of this, that I would tell her all about him. Please pray that her heart will be ready to hear about Jesus.
Also, last night's good news gave me the opportunity to talk to my cousin about the power of prayer. I was able to give the glory to God for the recovery we've seen in my aunt. My cousin didn't say much in response, but it's a seed... one she will be able to think over for a while.
Fr. Serpa said a Mass for my aunt and our family yesterday. I cannot begin to express my thanks to all those who are praying for us...
On the first day, my aunt was making few movements beyond the twitching of her eyelids. On the second day, we could see her legs and arms move a bit but it appeared to be just nerves and muscle tensing. Yesterday, her movements were even larger and more broad and seemed to react to stimulation around her.
My cousin put a bunch of her favorite songs on an MP3 player and put it on her ears. My sister and cousin were whispering in the room, to allow her some rest when they noticed my aunt raised her eyebrows a couple of times. A song she really likes had just begun.
Another time they noticed her leg had slid off the side of the bed. They put it back up and a few minutes later, it was hanging off the side again.
Then, they went to wipe a bit of drool from her mouth and she moved her head away!
The doctors are still saying it's just nerve and muscle reaction but we're all being a bit more optimistic because those behaviors seem to have purpose! It's very possible she may never improve beyond that, but it's also possible that a miracle may happen! It's amazing how much more movement we're seeing from her in just three days. We have no idea whether or not she can hear us but it sure seems as if she can and so we continue to talk to her and remain hopeful.
Today, the kids and I will be recorded, adding to those family and friends who already have been. My cousin will then put our recordings on an MP3 player so my aunt can hear all our voices even when we're not there. This whole ordeal has been strengthening for our family and a wonderful opportunity to show Christ's love to the members who do not have faith.
It's made me realize just how little time we have to reach out with the truth of Christ to those around us. I often think, "when the time is right" or "maybe tomorrow"... but there may not be a tomorrow and they may never hear the truth if we don't say something. They may reject it, but at least they had the chance to hear it! We have to be bolder: speak more, act more, love more. For tomorrow, they may be gone.
I know my aunt has "heard it all before" but I believe, if she comes out of this, she may decide to accept a whole new way of looking at it. I pray that the will of God will be done here... and that He will hold her in his hands regardless of the outcome.
My aunt is not doing well. According to the doctors, she has lost all brain function except that which helps her to breath. She is currently on a respirator but they believe she MAY be able to breathe on her own. If she came out of this, she would have a very long and very difficult road ahead of her. Right now, we're just waiting to see if anything changes in the next couple of days.
It's very difficult to see her lying there so helpless with all those tubes and needles everywhere. We don't know if she can hear us but we're all talking to her anyway... It's a very difficult time for our family but specifically for my uncle and cousins.
Your continued prayers are appreciated.
On a lighter note, my son, Christian, has a party at school today celebrating his completion of Kindergarten. I'm looking forward to being there and having something to take my mind off things for a while. I'm so proud of him. He's done so well this year and is so smart.
I have been delayed in responding to Russell because of my family issues but I'm working on it and will be posting it after I send it to him. I'm also quite busy adjusting to the upcoming changes that occur when summer hits... changes in finances, childcare arrangements, etc. In the midst of everything I'm trying to change parishes, schedule my kids' baptism, sign them up for CRE, and find out about getting involved in CRE... all while trying to pack and plan my move on June 23 and get a variance so my kids don't have to change schools.
Wish I could blog more but I have too many thoughts and not enough time!
The kids and I had a great time camping. The mornings at the campground were awesome... nice and cool with hundreds of butterflies in the meadow. We spent some time at a little lake, where they were able to get some swim time in. Trinity and I enjoyed the ladybugs that flew in abundance around the shady parts of the lake. We didn’t have a dull moment the whole time and my legs still hurt from all the walking we did. I may try to post some photos in the next couple of days.
On another note, I’m considering a move to another parish. I love the people I’ve gotten to know at my current parish but I want to find one that is more orthodox, especially if my children are going to be going through religious education. It is very important to me that they learn orthodox Catholicism. I believe that failing to promote orthodox Catholicism leads to the “protestantizing” of parishes and contributes to the common misconceptions about Catholicism by non-Catholic Christians. It is essential that children learn the faith the way it’s intended, not based on someone’s “off” interpretation of things.
Do these people not listen to Catholic radio and EWTN? How could they not know that they are slowly slipping from orthodoxy?
It’s interesting to me that some people see this viewpoint as being too conservative and even go so far as to label me a fundamentalist but the reality is that it’s NOT okay to alter the rubrics of the liturgy of the Mass. It’s not okay to do the consecration with children behind the altar. It’s not okay to attribute error to God or his Word. And it’s not okay to teach things that are contradictory to Church teaching, especially to our children.
So, while I’ll greatly miss the people and the priests who’ve been subbing in for the pastor the parish lacks, I definitely look forward to experiencing Mass the way it’s intended and getting my children into a good CRE program. May God clearly show us where He would have us attend.
Catholic Answers recently released a special report entitled, “Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing”. It details modern dissenters within the Church... those who have an agenda that is contradictory to the teachings of the Catholic Church and contradictory to what we, as Catholics, are required to uphold. These dissenters promote various ideas that are breaking down the core of theology and morality within the Catholic faith: same-sex marriage, “alternative” lifestyles, pro-abortion, contraception, divorce, the ordination of women, and married priests, just to name a few. Dissenters pose a serious threat to the Church and to the souls who trust that they are receiving sound and orthodox teaching from those in authoritative positions. Because of these dissenters, it is absolutely essential that Catholics arm themselves with the truth about Catholic teaching and continue to fight against the heresy and false teaching that is creeping up within our own parishes.
In my parish, you ask?
Indeed.
This is a difficult thing to write about but it's also necessary. Sometimes, doing what is right is not the popular thing to do and it often comes with a price to pay in one way or another. But, we've all seen how these things work. First, you allow contraception, then it's abortion for extreme cases, then it's abortion at will, which then leads to euthanasia of babies born with disabilities. You see the progression here? When we make allowances for the seemingly little things, they eventually turn into big things. Before you know it, the value of the truth of life's sanctity is being questioned all over the globe and the fight to keep things right becomes overwhelming.
It is the same way with any good vs. evil, or truth vs. falsehood. As Catholics, we have a right to attend a Mass that is done properly... a good, orthodox, and valid Mass. We have a right to experience the Sacraments the way the Church intends for us to experience them. Catholicism IS the fullness of truth! But, what happens when we allow people from within to decide what's important and what isn't? What happens when we allow those teaching others within the Church to teach things contrary to what the Church teaches? And what happens when we believe these things and carry them out to others, teaching others the wrong we've been taught? Before we know it, the fight to keep things right becomes overwhelming.
I'm not going to go so far as to say that all these people teach error knowing they're doing so. Some are just sincerely wrong. The problem comes when they believe they are above correction... when pride does not allow them to see the error they promote and their hearts are unwilling to change. Having a degree and a few letters after your name does not make you infallible or above correction. We, as humans, are always growing, always learning and always changing. I, for example, never thought in a million years I'd convert to Catholicism. Why? Because my pride did not allow me to see that Catholicism was a fuller truth than what I already knew. Once pride got out of the way, and I realized God had something to show me, I was able to really let the truth sink in.
This brings me to the point. This fall, while attending RCIA, the RCIA Director taught the class that the Bible is inspired but that it contains error. This statement troubled me because I was ALWAYS taught, and believed that the Catholic Church taught, that the Bible is inerrant. In fact, this statement bothered me for months. At first I thought, "Well, maybe she didn't mean to say it that way..." But I thought that even if she didn't mean it that way, that's how it was taught. At this point, I began to look into what the Church actually teaches about the inerrancy of Scripture. To my relief, the Church teaches that ALL of Scripture is inerrant. So, now it was just a matter of discussing it with the director.
So, we were all given evaluations to fill out at the end of the RCIA year and I decided this would be a good time to bring up my issue with the director's statement. Unlike most evaluations, we were asked to identify ourselves (but not until the end of the evaluation). How can one feel good about being honest when they're required to say who they are? Anyway, a couple of weeks later, I received a call from the DRE. She informed me that I do not understand Catholic teaching about Scripture and requested to meet with me about the issue. She emphatically stated, "There ARE errors in Scripture." I figured I should probably agree to meet with her to figure out exactly what her position was on the matter. Perhaps, I was just not understanding what she meant. But, I also decided that I had better look further into the issue and learn about the actual Catholic position regarding the inerrancy of Scripture.
Through my study, I found that the Catholic Church throughout history has ALWAYS taught that Scripture, being authored by God, is fully and entirely without error:
St. Irenaeus in Against Heresies said, "If, however, we cannot discover explanations of all those things in Scripture which are made the subj
My sister, April, got a call from the case working handling their adoption yesterday. There is a an expectant mother due in July who is looking to place her babies in a loving home. April and her husband are going to meet her on Saturday! That's right, BABIES... She's having TWIN boys! 
One of the biggest misconceptions many of my Protestant brothers and sisters have is the false idea that Catholics don't "have Jesus". Listening to Francis Beckwith on Catholic Answers the other day, he hit this idea on the head! In my conversion to Catholicism, I did not have to give up Jesus. In fact, I have a greater understanding of Him now than I did in all my years prior. Some, I'm sure, is due to all the studying I did. One cannot study about Christianity without growing in understanding about Jesus. But, as many of us converts discover, we not only learn more about Jesus but we learn more about the Church he established, the Scriptures and how God uses ordinary things to bring extraordinary grace into our lives.
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